‘Uncertainty has now hit Japan’s banks hard.’ - The Friar

In the last seven days, Origami bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank has announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was also announced that Karaoke Bank will go up for sale and will likely go for a song, while shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended today after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank is soldiering on after sharp cutbacks, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

‘2008 will go down in history!’ - The Friar

It’s the year end, and if there is one thing that everybody will remember 2008 for, it will undoubtably be the Global Financial Crisis. And in memory of it we’ve found a ‘Visual Guide to the Financial Crisis’.

The guide walks us through how it all happened, starting from Alan Greenspan’s (of the Federal Reserve) not so inciteful quote, “ The notion of a bubble bursting and the whole price level coming down seems to me as far as a national nationwide phenomenon, is really quite unlikely”. Phew! Thanks Alan. And John Snow (Treasury Secretary) adding ‘ The idea that we’re going to see a collapse in the housing market seems to me improbable”, Phew, again! Thanks John.

The guide also has classic quotes, from Gary Watts (Orange County Association of Realtors) “It’s impossible for prices to go down this year” and Anthony Hsieh (CEO Lending Tree) “If you own your own home free and clear, people often refer to you as a fool. All that money sitting there, doing nothing.” and David Lereah (NAR’s chief economist) “Housing activity will remain healthy for some time to come” and Dale Akins (Market Edge) “The national media are reporting a housing bubble. Don’t believe it!” and Stan Sieron (President of Illinois Association of Realtors) “Housing is still the best investment, without question.” and Jeromith Sutton (NAR Investment) “I think investors will have a good reason to come out here and buy again.”

‘There stttate’ - The Friar

The Fed are in need of some additional money with all the bailing out going on, so they’ve branched out into the world of breakfast cereals. The new cereal called ‘Credit Crunch’ will have it’s official release at the next meeting of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System. Ben Bernanke appears personally as the cereals marketing character and will also appear in a series of TV commercials, with the slogan ‘Tell them about the money, mummy’. ‘Credit Crunch’ will also give it’s customers a free toy helicopter with every box!

‘Finally, there is a solution!’ - the Friar

All the politicians and bankers have been struggling to come up with a solution to the recessionary times, the decisions are tough and difficult, but there is a better solution and it comes from an unusual place. Natelie Portman and Rashida Jones have determined the best course of action in these finical times, their solution to the credit crunch and banking crisis is….. well ….genius!